Dear America,

Remember 5 years ago?

You know, around 2003? The Iraq War was just beginning, President Bush was still popular, and you could actually go an entire day, from morning to night, without hearing or reading something about cupcakes?

cupcakes.jpg
Photo via Cupcakes Take the Cake.

Seems like ages ago huh? I mean look at things now: President Bush is one of the most unpopular leaders in history, and unless you live in a cave, you can’t make it 19 minutes in a public setting without hearing about cupcakes.

You’ve got co-workers chattering about the cupcake they had last night. Meredith Viera is on TV dishing about the cupcake party she threw for her girlfriends. Newspapers are writing non-stop reviews of the hot new cupcake bakery in town. Your friends with blogs are obsessed too. At this point, it’s gotten so ridiculous that you can’t even ride in an elevator without seeing someone carrying a little 4 inch-by-4 inch cupcake box – that every other woman in the elevator is salivating over like a pack of blood-thirsty wolves.

I GET IT. No seriously, I GET IT. Cupcakes are delicious and soooooo yummy! OMG pink frosting!

That’s not the point.

What I really want to know is WTF happened? I managed to never once hear the word “cupcake” between the ages of 12 and 25. Then all of a sudden I wake up one day and can’t walk 20 feet down the street without hearing “Cupcake, cupcake, cupcake. Cupcake, cupcake, cupcake. Ooooooo Cupcake!”

Newsflash: Cupcakes are delicious today, they were delicious yesterday, and they were delicious 15 years ago. Nothing has changed. It’s just like in 1998 when everyone was smoking Cigars and celebrities all wanted to appear on the cover of Cigar Afficianado with a Cuban in their mouth. Now every popular actress wants to appear on the cover of Cupcake Quarterly with frosting from a Magnolia cupcake smeared on her face.

So don’t come flocking here to tell me how yummy cupcakes are, I understand. But what I don’t understand is how cupcake saturation has reached the point where I can’t even buy black tar heroin without receiving a flier wrapped around my hypodermic needles advertising the new cupcake store down the street.

The cupcake obsession has peaked, and it has nowhere to go but down. You had your 15 minutes of fame cupcake lovers, but it’s time to face the facts: cupcakes have jumped the shark.

So everyone chill out, regroup, and move on to a new food obsession in a quiet and orderly fashion.

Hugs & Kisses,

So Good

45 Responses

  1. BellaSlohne

    Well if I was you, I suppose I would hate cupcakes, too. Black tar heroin vs. a cupcake….hmmm, I think that pretty much sums it up.LOL.

    Reply
  2. jamie

    I couldn’t agree more. I am so glad you said it. I got this annoying feeling inside whenever someone metioned the word and couldn’t put my finger on it.
    I’m done.

    Reply
  3. Nora

    Thank you, darling, for finally standing up to those cupcake thugaroos. Cupcakes are just not as good as homemade cookies. Not as good as ice cream. Not as good fresh fruit pie. They’re sugary and vapid, the perfect dessert for our “Hills”/”Real Housewives”-obsessed times.

    Don’t let the door muss up your perfect swirl of buttercream on the way out, cupcake!

    Reply
  4. Ashley Best

    It’s just people have fun with a cute little cake. Get over yourself honey!

    Reply
  5. Sarah Grace

    Your friends don’t just have websites about cupcakes, they have new nonfiction books coming out about them too – so you’ll have to tolerate it a bit longer. 🙂

    Reply
  6. Jen

    “I managed to never once hear the word “cupcake” between the ages of 12 and 25.”

    —> what happened to you in your tween years? didn’t you get invited to a birthday party ??

    oh wait, probably not ….
    (j/k)

    Reply
  7. Anonymous

    you know what’s more annoying than the cute hipness of cupcakes? the cute hipness of vegan cupcakes.

    Reply
  8. Anonymous

    You might have to wait this one out– I’m still waiting for the pomegranate fad to pass. Pomegranate cupcakes?– I’m leaving the store/website/house.

    Reply
  9. lrf

    I so agree! I am sick of cupcake boutiques with the only thing being sold is cupcakes. How unimaginative!!!

    Reply
  10. James

    Vegan cupcakes … give me a bloody break! First off, give me a REAL cake instead.

    But, if you’re going to serve me a cupcake, there’d better be some kind of dairy fat or chicken embryos in it! Icing just isn’t icing without using eggs or butter.

    Or, and please … don’t try to make a “cake” by shoving together a bunch of cupcakes and making a huge icing sheet over them. Why not just bake a sheet cake then? Doesn’t that seem simpler?

    Reply
  11. Greg Fitz

    i blame SNL digital short “lazy sunday”…

    “But first, my hunger pangs are stickin like duct tape!
    Let’s hit up Magnolia and mack on some cupcakes!
    No doubt doubt that bakery has got all da bomb frostings
    I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosslin!”

    Reply
  12. sophie

    haha

    totally

    I absolutely concur

    I do hate the balenciagaficionados putting that measly pastry everywhere but their mouths.

    Reply
  13. Kris T

    Don’t forget about DC cupcakes… Really? I wanna make a friggin cupcake and be on tv

    Reply
  14. cw

    omg! this is horrible! you were sick of cupcakes five years ago??
    there are like, ten shows about cupcakes now!!! it has gone waay beyond played out, now!! ridiculous.

    Reply

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