Oreos: The New Gatorade

Hop onto a sports related site and leave your ads unblocked.  There’s probably a 20% chance that you happen upon a new viral ad campaign starring the lesser Manning (Eli), Venus Williams, Apollo Anton Ono and Shaquille O’Neal.

The performance enhancing foodstuff they are advertising?  Oreos.

This is Kraft foods going for an edgier ad campaign than their traditional, semi-creepy ads featuring adults and children licking cookies. Kind of insane that in a world where Happy Meals are being banned for enticing kids to eat junk food, we have Kraft Foods putting together a super hero group made up of recognizable athletes all in the name of a creme-filled cookie.

Am I to believe that before a big match, Venus rips open sack of Oreos and scarfs away? Or that the only thing that provides Apolo Anton Ono with that extra burst at the end of a mile long sprint is a stomach full of half-digested Oreos?

In all fairness, eating a bunch of Oreo’s probably helps Shaq weigh down and break basketball hoops, and Eli Manning probably eats the shame of his little brother status away with an Oreo here and there.

I pine for simpler times, when kids weren’t so actively manipulated to crave junk food.

And by that I mean, I wish everyone would dance around the school striking poses and eating giant cookies.