Review: Domino’s Artisan Pizzas

“We’re Not Artisans” proclaims the new Domino’s artisan pizza box. The passage below goes on to characterize Domino’s as the guy who doesn’t buy into all the hoity-toity, black-bereted pizza elitists, but can still crank out a product with just as much quality.

Did Domino’s succeed in their effort to craft a top-of-the line pizza sans superfluity? Domino’s was nice enough to supply us with a few pizzas to taste and review, so some friends and I had a taste test and rated the pizzas on flavor, balance of toppings, quality of ingredients, and overall impressiveness. And the winner is…

#1: Spinach and Feta

“Alfredo sauce, feta and parmesan-asiago cheeses, fresh baby spinach and onion toppings. All balanced and baked to perfection on an artisan-style crust.”

All of the reviewers rated this pizza as their favorite. The strongest elements of the Spinach and Feta pizza were the alfredo sauce and crust. “Really liked the sauce, it was rich and creamy” wrote one reviewer. The crust was high quality as well – chewy and soft (although one reviewer wrote theirs was dry in spots). This crust quality persisted throughout all three pizzas. The onions were good, if a little strong. The spinach and feta, however, got lost amidst the sauce and the onions – not good for a pizza named for its spinach and feta.

#2 (tie): Tuscan Salami and Roasted Veggie and Italian Sausage and Pepper Trio

“Ideal proportions of salami, spinach and onion, roasted red and banana peppers, and a dash of oregano, all over a garlic parmesan sauce on an artisan-style crust.” 

and

“Parmesan-asiago cheese and sliced Italian sausage complemented by a trio of  roasted red, green and banana peppers, on an artisan-style crust, topped with a dash of oregano.”

These two pizzas came in at an exact tie points-wise, though the general consensus was that the Italian Sausage and Pepper Trio was a little better. The point at which these pizzas showed their strongest “artisan” colors was in the even distribution of toppings – each piece had at least one of every topping on it.

However, the individual ingredients themselves were lacking in quality and flavor. The spice combination sprinkled over the Tuscan Salami and Roasted Veggie felt forced and synthetic, like something that would come in one of those pre-mixed spice jars at the supermarket. The sausage on the Italian Sausage and Pepper Trio was sweet, but low quality –  one reviewer said it was “off-tasting,” and another said they had “higher expectations with the artisan name.” The sauces on both were pleasant (garlic-ey for the salami, sweet for the sausage), but underwhelming.

In the end, “not so sure the tastes mesh very well but good various bits,” said one reviewer. Though the individual ingredients on each pizza were inoffensive and in some cases excellent, they lacked the overall quality and coherence of a pizza you would get from, say, an artisan. Hard as they tried, these pizzas could quite shake the sheen of delivery pizza. “When I order Domino’s,” summed up one reviewer, “I’ll probably stick to the classic greasy stuff.”