Duly Noted: Grand Theft Lunchroom

A person who knowingly pilfers other co-worker’s meals from the staff lunch room is the same troll you experience in other facets of your day to day. This is someone who will also cut in line at the movie theater, after spotting someone they know. Or that person who brings 15 items to an 8 items or less express lane at the Grocery store.

There’s very little a lunchless office drone can do except exact a small ounce of revenge by posting a scathing, often hilarious, bordering on restraining order and/or visit to the corporate shrink, note.

Here are but a very few of the choice declarations of displeasure via starving cubicle co-w0rkers.

The Taylor Swift of lunch room thieves just got Kanye’d!

The last line promising all future meals will be seasoned with their DNA is a nice personal touch.

One thing karma isn’t going to do, is bring back your Hot Pocket.

Oxy P is Sunny D’s less tasty inbred second cousin.

Will someone tell Michael Douglas it’s not OK to steal my Lean Cuisine?

Picture evidence is always more compelling and in this case, gross.

The little pink heart takes some of the punch out of this letter. Still, I wouldn’t mess with a Christian and their Starbucks.

From the International Delights: Breast Pump series.

Thou shall not covet thy co-workers nougat.

The urge to eat around is outweighed by Post-it Note rage.

Probably good to include a surname if your office is littered with other, shiftier Daves’.

Religion plays into these notes quite frequently. However, Google has made it fairly easy to counter guilt via equally topical Bible quotes.

I always enjoy it when people consider RED a flavor.

Debbie’s mass office email about her missing tuna sub would result in the creation of “Sarcasm Fridge”.

Direct and to the point. I would not mess with his/her Tupperware tote.

Bruce in Finance was never known for his subtlety.