Pizza Hut’s Crazy New Crust

On April 1, I usually try to avoid as much news as possible for the simple reason that most of it is someone’s supposed clever idea to fool the teeming masses. Therefore, when I learned that Pizza Hut was planning to make a pie with a ridiculous new crust, I let it slide.

However, when I heard the same story on Tuesday, when sanity is supposed to return to civilized society, I took notice. Apparently, this news was true. What news, you ask?

Yesterday, Pizza Hut officially unveiled their “Crazy Cheesy Crust,” as you see above. In what they are calling a “crust,” there are 16 cheese-filled pockets that can be pulled off, and consumed by Pizza Hut’s key demographic: people that have nothing left to live for.

The main question I am left with after looking at this perversion of a cherished American staple is – Why?

Was a crust filled with cheese not good enough? Was the fact that the cheese was not in plain sight too mysterious? Also, from a practical perspective, how are you going to pick up your slice after you have knocked out the two hot pockets on the end? And I’m not even going to touch the how-much-is-too-much-cheese issue.

This idea seems like a cry for help to me. But what do you think? Would you actually order this? Is this just a next-gen crust, or The Fonz on waterskis?

H/t to HuffPo for the tip, and PH for the top shot.